


He left...

by ourfreewill



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drug Use, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Incest, Suicidal Thoughts, it's really dark, literally nothing happens in this fic, nothing actually happens it's all implied, that's a new one to me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 18:01:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7584373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourfreewill/pseuds/ourfreewill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He needed out. When Lucifer arrived at the airport he made his way straight to the desk. Bought "Any ticket, anywhere." The adrenaline was still rushing through his body; his heart pounding. </p><p>He needed to leave as soon as he could. They could have found him. Or his feet could have found them."</p>
            </blockquote>





	He left...

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably one of the darkest things I've ever written. My depression is extremely bad and I write to distract myself. 
> 
> I posted this somewhere else, but I didn't feel it was treated well, so hopefully you guys... enjoy? I don't think that's really the right word...
> 
> \- L

He needed out. When Lucifer arrived at the airport he made his way straight to the desk. Bought "Any ticket, anywhere", and was on his way to the next thing life had lined up for him. The adrenaline was still rushing through his body; his heart pounding. At the airport people gave him suspicious looks, and all he had was a rucksack and his thoughts. He needed to leave as soon as he could. They could have found him. Or his feet could have found them.

He almost killed his brother. Lucifer doesn't remember what happened. Michael was speaking, then shouting, all while their father stood by watching, smug expression present. Crimson had began to seep in from the corners until it completely filled in and blocked his sight. Then he Snapped. Acting similar to a wolf starved for blood.

It wasn't the first time he had hurt his brother. He had left many scars on his soul throughout the years. Physical, mental; it's all the same, sometimes it takes longer to heal.

Lucifer's younger brothers used to sense the impending storm when he walked through the door on a night. He was always late to gatherings and parties held at their house, if showing up at all. Even at dinner he arrived, in not so much style, around ten minutes late. Just in time to miss the table prayer. Perfect timing. The brothers were wary, and ever vigilant. There were certain factors they picked up on, as to whether there was to be a fight, or if it was safe to remain at home. More often than not, they had to make escape plans with their friends, or decided retreating to their rooms was the best step, only coming out when they heard the front door rattle on its hinges, the tempest evacuating the house. They would come out to inspect the aftermath of whatever storm Lucifer and their father brought to the world this time.

When he had left the house he would walk down to the empty park and perch on one of the swings. Just rock back and forth, while smoking a joint. Feeling the burn in his throat and the bliss spreading through his lungs. As he was beginning to feel lighter he looked up to the clouds, watching them move along, break apart, reform. He wished he could fall back from the swing and drift off into the night sky.

It was his fault, or so he had been told, what had happened to their family. He had made so many mistakes: with his mother, father and the rest of his family. But his biggest regret was Michael. Perhaps he thought he had Michael were something more. They may have been dancing around their feelings for so long. They just needed to realise it. And maybe Lucifer got there first, and Michael didn't have a chance to catch up. Michael wouldn't talk about it. There was shock, doubt, fear. But more than anything - anger. Lucifer knew he deserved Michael's anger. All those scars build up and become more noticeable over time - especially when you're the one to inflict them.

He wished he could bring back their mother. She would know just what to do. But he killed her. He was driving. They were arguing. And then he wasn't. And then it was quiet. He hurt his mother and brother, is there anyone he hadn't? He had thought of ending it for a while. He had made his peace and plans. He wanted to leave. It would be better for everyone. He could finally fall back into the abyss. That bliss revelling inside of him all the time. Just darkness. Only one thing that he could want to say. It's what he would dream of saying.

"Michael, I love you."

Maybe Lucifer writes it in a letter, and maybe he posts it.

Perhaps Michael reads it, but perhaps he doesn't.

Lucifer never found out.

He left.


End file.
